Recently in Sex Category
Dear Dr. Dick, his profile says he's negative...
Dear Dr Dick,
Like so many other gay and bisexual men in Seattle I spend a great deal of time online looking for hookups. It seems that is where all the HOT guys hang out. When I hookup with guys from websites I practice safe sex. However recently I met two guys online that I am considering barebacking with. That's cool if all parties involved are HIV negative right? Both of guys have posted the following statement in their online profiles: "HIV NEG as of November 20, 2008." [I'm guessing that you meant 2008??]
So here my question: is it safe to bareback with them?
Hooked on the Man Hunt
Dear Hooked on the Man Hunt,
Thank you for your question!
The short answer is, no, barebacking (intentional unprotected anal sex) is a very risky sexual practice. Barebacking can easily transmit HIV, along with several other sexually transmitted infections. These potential partners say they are HIV-negative but they were negative as of a year ago, so consider these facts:
In a recent large study of gay/bi men, on average about 2% became infected each year; but among those guys who engaged in the highest risk behavior the rates of new infection reach levels as high as 8% yearly. Other studies have shown that recently HIV-infected guys are the most infectious, because they have very high levels of virus in their blood and semen in the first few months after being infected, before their bodies have brought the infection under some control. So, if you happen to encounter a guy who enjoys high risk behaviors, there could be an 8% chance that he's acquired HIV in the past year, and he may be not just pretty but also pretty infectious.
Knowing your own and your partner's HIV status is an important part of maintaining one's overall health. However, because one advertises their year-old HIV status in an online profile or in person does not necessarily mean it is accurate and frankly it's a big risk to take for HIV, the worst of all sexually transmitted diseases.
Additionally, someone is HIV negative can have another sexually transmitted infection (STI) present. Anal and/or oral sex without condoms can still spread infections such as syphilis and gonorrhea.
Be sure to talk more about this with your partners and even your doctor to settle on a decision that works best for all parties.
Best,
Dr. Dick
Ohh no, a Wart!!
Dear Dr. Dick,
The other night I took home a date from the bar. He was giving me head when he felt a wart-like thing on my pole. I turned on the lights and there it was! It doesn't hurt, itch or ooze and it is pretty small - but it has wasn't there before - Dr. WHAT is it?
Thanks
Magnum
Dear Magnum,
Thanks for your question!
First things first, have a doctor take a look at it to be sure!
In the mean time, it sounds like you might have acquired Genital Human Papillomavirus Virus (HPV). HPV is the most common sexually transmitted virus in the United States. At least 50% of sexually active people will have genital HPV at some time in their lives, and often acquire HPV in the first few months/years of sexual activity, as it's easily spread. Most people who have genital HPV don't even know they have it. There are often no symptoms, and the warts which are an expression of HPV usually go away on their own--without causing any serious health problems.
HPV is passed on through genital contact (such as vagina, oral, and anal sex) and without even knowing it. There is no cure for the infection itself, HPV, but there are treatments for the health problems that some types of HPV can cause, like genital warts. The warts are usually painless and not a serious problem. They can be flat or raised, single or in groups, and small or large. And, they can be caused by many different kinds of HPV, only some of which are associated with more serious disease, like anal and cervical cancer and cancer of the throat.
Without treatment, the warts may grow in size and number, or (again) they may go away on their own. Since you possibly have acquired genital HPV infection and may have a wart, see your doctor about available tests for genital HPV. Although there is no treatment for that cures HPV itself, there are treatments for genital warts such as laser removal, burning, cutting, topical chemotherapy, or freezing them off. Even after genital warts are treated, the virus remains in the body. This means that you may still pass HPV to your sex partners, even when you don't see any warts.
So, Magnum go see a doctor (in-person) and have it looked at - that is the best way to know for sure. In the meantime, be sure to wear a condom if you do have sex with anyone else.
And, since HPV can be spread orally even without warts being present, a condom for oral sex would help protect your partner.
All the best,
Dr. Dick
Santa's Safe Sex List
'Tis the season!
Dear Loyal Readers,
Every issue, we get questions from simple to hard core. This time, I'd like to do a
"Santa's Safe Sex List" A short and easy way to remember how to stay warm & healthy
while being sexy & safe:
The obvious one is ABSTAIN from SEX. But, really?
If you are sexually active:
- Get tested every 2-3 months for HIV & STDs (sexually transmi ed
- diseases), including Hepatitis
- Get vaccinated for Hepatitis A & B, if you already haven't been vaccinated
- Always use a NEW CONDOM: regular, fl avored or Reality for every sex act
- Always use water-based LUBE
- Get to know your partner - TALK
If you shoot up drugs, always use a sterile rigand all new works; don't use rigs that others have used. Sterile rigs are available by exchanging used ones at any needle exchange site or from many local pharmacies (call 206-296-4649 for times and locations).
If you think you've been exposed to an STD and have symptoms, go to your doctor or the STD Clinic at Harborview Medical Center.
To make an STD Clinic appointment, call (206) 744-3590.
If you have time to cruise online, you have time to read up on HIV &
STD information online.
Here's a start:
http://kingcounty.gov/healthservices/health/communicable/hiv.aspx
Until 2009... Happy Holidays!
Jail Sex
Dear Dr. Dick,
I'm writing to you from my cell - long story, basically got caught with possession and accused of intent to sell.
Anyway - as you can imagine - I'm horny as hell with all the hunky men around me and the idea of having them in me - just blows my mind! Literally!
But, now that I haven't been using - I'm sorta getting clearer and feeling like I've put myself at risk with barebacking in jail.
What should I worry about? I try to read up on things - so far, no nasty drainage or sores from the guys I've fucked around with - I'm assuming I'm safe.
Mr. Jail House Rock
Dear MJHR,
Let's set aside the cliché first - "Don't ASSume" - it only makes an ASS of U & ME.
Risk for sexually transmitted diseases (STD), especially HIV is going to be high since rates of HIV among inmates are higher than outside. And I can assume you didn't use protection, as it's NOT very common to have condoms distributed in the jail system. Some prison officials argue that having condoms available only increases sexual activity and STD infections.
But, I'm an advocate of harm reduction - condoms, condoms, condoms! Get tested, get tested, get tested!
Luckily, HIV/STD testing is available within the King County Jail - take advantage of this free service. If you are infected, services are available to get it treated right away.
Sometimes people who are infected and are infectious may not show immediate symptoms. But, do you really need another thing to worry about?
Why not practice playing with yourself? Wash your hands good - and get a finger or two up in your asshole while jacking off.
Another safer option is to watch each other get off. Of course, ask around to avoid any issues with the wardens. You wouldn't want to stop in the moment of climax!
To some, having bareback sex is the ultimate fantasy - but is it really worth getting it and then some syphilis on your cock, chlamydia in your ass, gonorrhea in your mouth - and maybe hepatitis, too?
Be on your best behavior, and straighten your legal matters so you can actually get out of there - and enjoy sex where condoms, lube and cum towels are in abundance!
And if you're still itching for that "scene," rent a video or two - that's another safer option for that visual kink you might crave.
-Dr. Dick
Fisting and Crystal: Dr. Dick on sphincter safety
Dear Doc:
Last weekend I went to a Tina party which turned into a huge fisting fest. Everyone was pretty spun and fucking each other with anything they could find. I even saw one guy get double fisted. He looked too wacked to feel anything, but I wonder if this could cause any serious damage? Can a butthole really get that big?
Stunned and Amazed in West Seattle
Dear Stunned:
Once speed loosens up those butt muscles and inhibitions, it can be hard to curb your anal appetite! But your ass is not a Volkswagen. It only has so much room.
Your sphincter is pretty flexible and can stretch quite far on crystal. But fisting or massive penetration can easily overstretch your sphincter and other rectal surfaces. Although tears will probably heal, they may never quite get back to normal. Over time, this can lead to permanent damage, a loose sphincter, and lifelong problems with incontinence (inability to control stool).
Another issue is simple anatomy. Your rectum is a tube, but not a straight tube. It curves towards your navel and then your spine in a narrow S-shape. At the wrong angle, a fist (or dildo, thick toy, etc.) can hit the rectal wall with too much force. This could cause bleeding or tissue damage. Go too far up your ass and you can break through your colon wall. A ruptured bowel requires emergency surgery and can be fatal!
Fisting and crystal are a bad combo - plain and simple. Crystal numbs your pain receptors so you might not know when injury is about to occur. Or if it already has. And if sex is getting that out-of-control, your drug use may be too. It might be time to cut down or take a break.
Watch out for these injury warning signs:
- Severe abdominal/groin pain
- Bleeding from your ass
- Fever (especially over 101 degrees)
- Painful gas or bowel movements
Your rectum may be a pleasure palace, but it also has a day job - managing your stool. So strong, intact sphincters are nice to have around!
Until next time, Dick
Dr. Dick on Blow Jobs: Before you lick, check the dick
Hey Doc!
I give great head and lots of it! But I hate condoms. One day I hear blow jobs are safe. The next day I hear they aren't. So what's the bottom line on giving head? Can you please settle this issue once and for all?
Gratefully,
I.Lovedick
Well, every guy needs a hobby now doesn't he? And you're right Ð the issue of safety and blow jobs can be downright confusing. So let's try to make it simple.
Fact #1 The one who gives the blow job gets more of the risk. Your lucky recipient has much less to worry about. (HIV and some STDs can be transmitted to the receiver. This is rare, but possible.) Today we'll just talk about giving blow jobs, not getting them.
Fact #2 Yes, there is clear risk for STDs. It's easy to get gonorrhea, syphilis, and herpes from giving head. You can become infected if your mouth touches any sores, rashes, bumps, etc. So a thorough penis inspection is always smart before you begin. And play with any foreskins to check them out also. You can easily disguise it as teasing or foreplay. But inspecting a penis won't make it safe! You can pick up an STD even if you don't see any symptoms! This is especially true for herpes and gonorrhea (very common STDs among gay/bi men in Seattle). So be careful- there can be more than meets the eye!
Hepatitis is also a risk. But you can eliminate this risk by getting vaccinated for hep A and B. Call the HIV/STD hotline at 206-205-7837 for info on free vaccines. There is still little evidence that hepatitis C is transmitted through sex.
Fact #3 There is some risk for HIV. There are reported cases of HIV transmission through oral sex. So, experts are agreed that there is some risk. However, the number of cases is tiny compared to the whopping number of blow jobs that happen every day! So, the risk must be pretty small, smaller still for the person getting blown. Skin-to-skin oral sex is clearly less risky than anal barebacking.
The experts agree on two points:
- You are less likely to get HIV from oral sex than anal sex, and
- HIV risk is virtually zero if you use a condom when you give head.
Fact #4 Your risks for any STD or HIV increase if:
- You have open sores or cuts in your mouth. These are the express lanes for infection! And since crystal is famous for causing gum problems and loose teeth, your mouth could be in serious trouble!
- You have just brushed or flossed. Scratches or tiny cuts in your gums can easily invite infection.
- You take cum in your mouth. Therefore, a lot of guys agree on this before the action begins. And many men prefer to "let it fly" anyway so it could be a win-win for you both!
So here's my free advice to lovers of dick everywhere:
- Check your own mouth. Don't brush or floss before or just after giving head. Crystal users - take EXTRA steps to avoid gum disease and tooth decay!
- Check your partner's dick, especially under any foreskins. If you see anything unusual, use a condom.
- Don't take cum in your mouth.
- When in doubt, use a condom. And the flavored ones (and lubes) can actually be tasty. So why not give them a try!
- Get vaccinated against hepatitis A and B.
Well, fellatio fans, I hope this clears up the confusion.
Until next time
Dick
Dr. Dick on Crystal Dick: The hard facts.
Dear Dr. Dick,
I never thought it would happen to me, but I think I've got a bad case of crystal dick. No matter what I do, I can't get it up anymore. I've heard about this happening with other guys who shoot crystal, but I've been partying for years and never had a problem before. I tried Viagra, but that didn't really help. Is this a permanent thing? What can I do?
- One Panicked Penis
Dear Panicked Penis,
Ah, good ol' crystal dick! Speed's little practical joke isn't so amusing when it happens to you, is it? Not all crystal users will develop erection problems, but it does happen more often with long-term or high-dose users. And you guessed it - that usually means injectors. Erection problems are one of the real downsides of shooting crystal, but you do have some sex-saving options!
Your garden-variety erection happens when specific brain chemicals (mostly serotonin and dopamine) react to things that turn you on. When you see a hot guy or he starts rubbing your crotch, your brain sets off signals to the muscles and blood vessels in your pelvis that cause you to get hard. The rest, as they say, is history.
There are many things that can affect your ability to get hard. Your testosterone or hormone levels may be low, especially if you have HIV or AIDS. Levels can also be low if you are taking certain medications or have other health problems and psychological factors. And, erection problems become more common as we get older. A good health care provider can help sort it all out. But back to crystal - it is the factor we're most concerned about here.
Crystal causes severe changes in dopamine and serotonin. Over time, your brain can have trouble sending the right messages to your penis. Regular crystal use also puts constant stress on parts of your nervous system that regulate normal blood flow between muscles and the tissues of the penis. Finally, crystal shrinks blood vessels, making the problem even worse.
We don't know why some men get crystal dick and others don't. But we do know that using more crystal will NOT fix the problem! Viagra isn't the answer either. Viagra is designed to treat specific health conditions that you may not have. So you should never take Viagra without a prescription. As a recreational drug, Viagra is a bad idea. And it's very dangerous to take it with poppers. (See AmphetaZINE #18 and #25 for details).
The best solution for you may be to lay off crystal for a while. Most men see their erections return once they take a substantial break from speed or seriously cut down their use. It's hard (pardon the pun) to say how long it will take for your dick to "bounce back." The recovery time varies, but the results are usually positive. Unless you have other health issues, this type of impotence is usually not permanent once crystal is out of the picture.
If cutting down or taking a break from speed doesn't help, then definitely talk with your doctor. Otherwise your little soldier should be saluting in no time!
Licking Booty
Dear Dr. Dick,
I like licking booty . . . I can do it for hours. I was recently vaccinated for hepatitis A - so I don't have to worry about getting that. Since I had been vaccinated, I thought I could lick to my heart's content. That was, until my best friend told me about some kind of stomach bug he caught that made him very sick. From what he and his doc could figure, he probably caught the bug from letting his tongue go wild one weekend at a local sex club. So, what's the poop on this?
Loves To Lick Ass
Dear LTLA,
Rimming is a sexual activity that many gay and bi men enjoy doing. The good news is that rimming carries a very low risk for HIV transmission - just make sure to keep your mouth healthy with regular brushing, flossing and trips to your dentist. And to hear that you've been vaccinated for hepatitis A - if only all gay men would get the vaccine we could prevent many unneeded illnesses. [Please see issue 19 for more on hepatitis. -ed.]
Now the not so good news about licking booty. Sadly, if you rim without some kind of protective barrier, you are very much at risk for a variety of other bugs that can make you very sick. And if you have HIV or have a weakened immune system from something else, these little bugs can really wreck your health. You probably already know about gonorrhea - you can get it in your butt and in your throat. But there are other harmful bugs - bacteria and parasites - that you should be concerned about, too. You may have heard of some of these . . . Shigella, Giardia, Cryptosporidia, Salmonella. Salmonella received a lot of press a few years ago when a child got it from a fast food restaurant.
Some people who have healthy immune systems will clear parasites or harmful bacteria without any treatment. But if you are HIV positive or weaken your immune system with drug use, you might not be so lucky.
So, how do you know if you have one of these bugs? Well, as you might have guessed, not everyone who has caught one will have noticeable symptoms. You might just have a few days of mild and brief diarrhea. You might just lose your appetite. If you do have symptoms, some that are more likely to show up include gas, abdominal cramps, watery or bloody diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, or fever.
How do you enjoy your pastime and avoid these evil critters? Again, the answer is pretty simple. Make sure the butt you're lovin' is clean. The two of you can enjoy a nice warm soapy shower first. If no shower is available, use a dam or piece of cling wrap, or stick to fingering. Be sure to wash your hands after any sort of butt play, especially before you eat that late night snack. If you are sucking dick that has recently been up somebody's ass, it can be a risk for these things as well.
Even if you don't rim, you can still get exposed to one of these bugs. Imagine you finger your partner or you touch something that has shit on it - like removing the condom after you screw. Let's say you grab a cigarette to relax . . . did you touch the tip of the cigarette or stick your finger in your mouth?
Remember: if you ever have diarrhea for more than three days, see a doctor right away. If you've got the runs and feel dizzy or lightheaded or have rectal bleeding, don't wait the 3 days - see your doc immediately. Don't take anti-diarrheals like Pepto Bismol or Imodium unless your doc tells you it's okay. These medications don't help with parasites and some harmful bacteria. In fact, over-the-counter diarrheals just make some conditions last longer. Your doc might put you on some other medication to help you get rid of the bugs. But even with medication, sometimes it takes a while to completely clear them from your body. Also, you want to keep your body hydrated. Talk to your doc about the best way to do this. Drinking fruit juice with a pinch of salt and some honey or sugar can sometimes help. And finally, you may have to take a break from your drug use. Recreational drugs can make your health worse and prevent you from making a full and quick recovery.
So, ask potential partners if they've had diarrhea recently. Wash any body part that might have come in contact with shit, before it goes in a mouth. Use a latex barrier if you aren't sure. And always wash your hands before you eat - after all cleanliness is next to godliness.
Stay safe,
Dr. Dick
Abnormally Abstinent: Am I sexually normal?
Dear Dr. Dick:
I think there's something wrong with my sex drive. I like sex and don't have any trouble getting hard, but I just don't get horny when I get high. As soon as my friends shoot up, they pop instant hard-ons. They spend days partying at the bath house or on chat lines. But I don't have any desire to have sex when I'm tweaked. Most of the time I'd rather stay home and do projects or work on my writing. Could it be a psychological problem? What's wrong with me?
Abnormally Abstinent
Dear Abnormally Abstinent,
Thanks for asking one of the most common and perplexing questions for men everywhere - Am I sexually normal? Every man wants to think he's got it all together in the sex department. But in private, most guys are quite anxious. Issues like arousal, performance, and body image can be big worries. Then when crystal's involved, our ideas about what is "normal" sex get tossed right out the window. Before we look at this issue of sexual desire and speed together, let's talk about male sex drive in general.
First of all, there is no "normal" male sex drive. We as men, and gay men at that, feel a lot of pressure to be "hot, hard and ready" all the time. Advertising, porn videos and magazines tell us we're supposed to be obsessed with sex. Maintaining erections. Giving good head. Fucking all the time. "That's just what gay men do." These expectations are cultural stereotypes. But they're really not true for a lot of gay men. Some guys want a lot of sex. Some guys don't. Neither side is right or wrong. It's really an individual preference.
According to most sex experts (and I'm NOT talking about Dr. Laura), you should judge your sexual interest and activity by what feels healthy or "comfortable" for you. If your sex life feels good to you AND it's not causing harm to yourself, your partner or your life in general, then whatever you're doing is OK. Lots of sex is fine. But so is a little sex or none at all.
Your need or desire for sex may increase and decrease on a natural cycle. One month you could care less about sex. The next month you may be hornier than a goat! This is normal. And it's true for gay men, straight men, and women as well. Also, there are many outside factors that can affect your sex drive. Illness, medications (especially some HIV meds and antidepressants), stress, emotions and environment can all dampen your libido. Aging brings about changes as well. Your testosterone levels naturally decrease as you get older.
If you think you might have a physical problem, talk to your doctor. Together you can talk about your symptoms and their causes. You may also want to check your testosterone levels, especially if you have HIV. The tests are simple and can be very helpful.
Now let's talk about speed. Contrary to what many people think, there are no secret chemicals in crystal that make it a "sex drug." Rather, crystal is a powerful stimulant that floods your brain with chemicals. These chemicals may make you focus intently and exaggerate your feelings of pleasure. They may also increase your sense of stamina. This change in brain chemistry may enhance your dancing, artistic creativity, sex, or any other activity you enjoy. But, depending on dose and time, crystal may interfere with these and other desired functions. While crystal can intensify sex, it does not automatically trigger sexual desire.
Most of the sexual desire men experience on speed is learned or "expected" behavior. Here's how it works. At first, you don't know what sex on crystal is like. Then during your next high someone engages you in a sexual situation and you quickly find out! At this point your brain makes a connection between getting high and having sex. This response is "learned behavior." Now your brain expects that when you get high, you want to have sex. This is expectation. A lot of guys have such intense expectation with crystal and sex that the events get reversed. Just thinking about sex makes some men want to get high.
Of course, your brain can make connections between crystal and unpleasant sex as well. For some, crystal sex is empty and isolating. Some men talk about feelings of shame about what they did or who they did while high. They might feel guilty about not using condoms or not disclosing their HIV status. For others, the connection between crystal and sex may not exist. Some men use their high to focus on other activities like writing, drawing, painting, or even cleaning their house.
Crystal can be a sexual drug if a man wants it to be. But the sexual effects of crystal are not the same for everybody. Sexual response will depend on how much, how often and how long a person has used. Your environment has a lot to do with it as well. If you get high in a bath house, chances are you will be aroused! If you are high at the QFC, you may just get caught up in reading the food labels for several hours.
It's your high and you can have sex if you want to. There's nothing wrong with you if you don't have a screaming urge to head to the bath house. But if you do get horny, remember that crystal may also lessen your resolve to fuck safely. So plan for safety before you get high. Have those condoms and lube ready before you enjoy!
Butt Licker: Health hazards from rimming (licking butt)
Hey Doc,
I'm a dedicated ass-licker who just got over a hellish case of hepatitis A. I suspect the hep germ came from my favorite pastime - not bad salad dressing. After two weeks of pure misery, I want to make sure this never happens to me again. I'm not going to quit rimming so what can I do? Also, could I get anal warts on my tongue? For that matter, anything else a devoted rimmer needs to know?
Butt-Licker
Dear Butt-Licker,
As you now know, no matter how lovely and mouth-watering the butt in question, it crawls with germs - thousands or millions of them. Most of these germs help balance the gut-to-butt environment. They keep it from dripping, stinking, or hurting. However, some germs, such as E-coli, salmonella, shigella, amoeba, giardia, and cryptosporidiosis (just to name a few), can make you very sick when they get into your body. As you found out, viruses such as hepatitis A are also spread through rimming. However, now that you've gotten that particular bug you should be protected against more hepatitis A in the future.
Probably the best way to protect yourself when rimming is to use good old household saran wrap (or other plastic wrap). You get full visuals and heat while he (or she?) gets the full feel of your big hot tongue. Maybe you've heard about using dental dams for butt-licking. Plastic wrap is much easier to use. It's thinner and larger than a dental dam. A double layer adds extra protection... just to make sure you don't tear through it. Squirting a dab of water-based lube on the butt-side will help it stay in place. You can also "pin" it in place with some deep tongue penetration.
Genital warts (from butts, dicks or pussies) can be found in or around the mouth, on tongues, lips, gums, etc. But they are not common unless you have HIV infection. And even with HIV, they are pretty rare. In my 10 years of working with STD's, I have only seen "oral warts" in about five people. Each of these folks was also dealing with HIV. It appears that a weak immune system can allow genital warts to grow in unusual places like the mouth. As always, people with HIV or other immune system problems need to be especially careful.
Dr. Dick
